Trus-TEA SOUL SALON
From: a brillant offering around TRUST from Brene Brown: Anatomy of Trust (abridged) – Bing video
Trust is choosing to make something important to you, being vulnerable to the actions of someone else.
Distrust is: what I have shared with you that is important to me, is not safe with you.
The acronym BRAVING describes how trust means real connection with someone.
The parts of Trust are:
B..Boundaries I trust you if you are clear about your boundaries and you hold them and you are clear about my boundaries and you respect them.
R: Reliability. I can only trust you if you do what you say you are going to do. That is, over time, you reliably do what you say you will do over and over again. In regards to work, you don’t take on so much that you cannot deliver what you say you will do.
A: Accountability. I can only trust you if when you make a mistake you are willing to own it, apologize for it and make amends and vice versa you can only trust me if I will do the same.
V: Vault: What I share with you you will hold in confidence. What you share with me, I will hold in confidence. If you share something that is not yours to share, that is gossip. It injures our trust. Often this happens because it appears to ‘hot-wire’ your relationship with the person, to share confidential information . Our closeness is built on speaking badly about other people. That is not real, intimate or creating of trust.
I: I cannot be in a trusting relationship with you , if you don’t act from integrity and encourage me to do the same. What is integrity? Choosing courage over comfort. Choosing what’s right over what’s fun, fast or convenient. Practicing your values, not just professing them.
N: Non-judgement. In non-judgment I can fall apart, ask for help and struggle without you judging me and vice versa. If people cannot ask for help and offer it, that is not a trustworthy relationship. Asking and giving help must be reciprocal to be trustworthy.
G:Generosity: Our relationship is only a trusting relationship if you can assume the most generous thing about my words, intentions and behavior by checking in with me around them without making harsh assumptions. In generosity you will make generous assumptions about someone and check out what is actual and what is true.
Here is how the Divine Feminine defines trust from The 13 Moon Oracle: “Trust is a state of surrender to the Divine Self, knowing that one is supported on ones journey toward wholeness, no matter how it looks on the surface appearances of life. Trust implies the acceptance that the lessons one is given are serving ones highest evolutionary potential toward wholeness. Part of the initiation we are all in around trust is to learn to trust the darker faces of love and enter in fully without denying, turning away, moving into addictions to avoid, withdrawing, judging, trying to change or fix, trying to control with the ego, react or struggle against and resist the processes of death. Forces greater than ourselves in the Mystery have the power to devour us, so that we acknowledge the ever present forces of death. Knowing that every moment may be our last, invites us to live more fully in the present moment. It is simply not possible to have surrender without trust or trust without surrender. Trust is a state within surrender to the Divine Self. Trust is a direct pipeline, the direct distance dial to the Divine without which there is simply no connection.”
And from The Alchemy of Ecstasy:
“In love there must be trust. Without trust there is no real relationship. Trust can be looked at as a provisional tactic for a conditional world. On a personal relational level when trust is apparently broken, the divine connection feels broken between the “trustees”. And we all know how horrible that feels. And yet the rupture of trust/betrayal, of all the woundings that we may suffer as a soul, can be the greatest agent of growth in the sacred. It marks the end of primal unconscious trust and forces upon us those terrible conditions that accompany the taking of the next step. In all the great myths of betrayal, such as Judas and Christ, Osiris and Set, Lancelot and Arthur, we find the loss of a simple faith. The condition of this trust has acted as a subtle but powerful binding that blocks the fullness of the greater consciousness needed to respond to new situations. Trust always contains the seeds of its own betrayal. Betrayal/loss of trust allows for the coming of deeper self-reflection and therefore allows us to enter more fully into the evolutionary world of growth, responsibility and consciousness. The key to unifying the duality pair of trust and betrayal and thus redeeming broken trust/betrayals, is forgiveness. Only forgiveness will allow one to return to the Garden after the gaining of awareness that opens that gateway into fully conscious partnership with the divine creative principle. Through genuine forgiveness, love is restored and the deeper evolutionary soul potential is revealed.” The following poem from Osho eloquently reveals the deeper nature of trust.
